Umbra di' Angelo at Camp HalfBlood
by umbradiangelo
Summary: The first in a series of stories where my self-insert OC changes the lives and outcomes of multiple universes. This is his origin story.
1. Introductions

**Introductions**

_**A/N:**__ This is a self insert into the Percy Jackson universe. This story will be an introduction into a long series of stories. Reviews are always appreciated. This will, eventually feature adult content, and will have an abundance of swearing. Don't like, don't read._

Why am I writing these words? To whom will they reach? I don't know. It is something I must do, however. I just have to.

Who am I? I don't know. Who are any of us. My name, however, is Umbra. Umbra di' Angelo. Latin, before you ask. I am almost sixteen. Short for my age, black hair. Fairly toned muscles, but not bulging. I'm as white as a ghost. Same as my siblings. Nico and Bianca.

I made sure they were safe. Then, well, then I went somewhere I never want to be. Camp Half-Blood. Backwards bunch of Neanderthals. Still using swords and arrows in the twenty-first century. Bah.

I always keep my specially made gun on me, though. Well, three of them. And three swords. Made entirely out of Stygian Iron. Same for my ammo. I trained myself to shoot. A tad off aim every now and then.

But I digress. I start my story as I approach the gates of this… camp. Bah. Can't believe that I had to leave my Ferrari behind. It's hidden though, thank god. Might have to disinfect it later, though. Ah well, I stole it in the first place.

As I enter the camp an arrow shoots me in the arm. I stopped and looked at her. She went pale white, as though she had seen a ghost. I pulled the arrow out, turned, and kept walking. I think I heard her faint. Poor soul.

As I peaked the hill and the camp came into view I could see several buildings. Made out of stone. Nice architecture, ugly as fuck though. Who the hell still builds with stone? Pathetic. Fucking pathetic. Then there was a more modern town house. Could use a paint job.

Behind that was a strawberry farm. Probably there cover business. Least they can do one thing right. Probably taste like shit though. The prices we pay.

I started to descend the hill. The campers probably hadn't noticed me yet. It's a shame. I could use a fight. But they seem wrapped up in their business.

A few minutes of walking until the more modern house. They are starting to notice me now. Staring. Whispering. The oldest I see are, maybe, fifteen. _Morionem._

I reach the house. A Centaur is there. And… well, this is unexpected. It… no. Why would a god be here? That makes no sense.

"May I help you?" the Centaur asks, showing some mild curiosity. I've never known his kind to be civil.

"My name is Umbra di' Angelo. First born son of Lady di' Angelo, and son of Hades'."

"Hades' has had no known children in the past decade."

"Of course not. He would not break the oath. This Umry is obviously bluffing." pipes up the other. I was right. He is a god. A minor one, sure, but still a god nonetheless.

"Then explain how I know that you are an Immortal when I've never seen you before. Or how I got in here. Also, it's Umbra. I get it. You don't want to be here. You hate being here. I don't want to be here either. But you don't have to be a dick. I am ashamed to know you're an Olympian," he snarls as I finish. "In any event, I was born in during World War Two. _Italia. La Patria."_

"Then how are you alive. Your father resurrect you?" the god asks.

"I put myself and my siblings in the Lotus Casino in Vegas once the oath was put into affect. Well, under my father's urging…" I drifted off as I noticed a boy walk towards us. He couldn't be more than fourteen.

"Chiron? Who's this?" asked the boy.

"He's… a guest. Percy, find Anabeth. Find Grover, two." Chiron said.

"So… you're the legendary Chiron. I suddenly understand a bit more. That's what this place is for. Huh." I said.

"Yes. Now, we'll talk more when the three who will join you in bringing your siblings here get here." Chiron said.

"Wait. You. God. What's your name?" I asked.

"Mr. D." he said.

"Your real name." I demanded.

"… Dionysus." he said.

"Well… don't suppose you could make me a beer?" I ask him.

"You're underage. And, even if I wanted to, I can't. Been banned from alcohol." he said.

"Sucks to be you. How exactly does that work, anyway? I mean, you can't die. So why not just do it anyway? Plus, if you're the god of wine, how do you banned from alcohol? That's… you're kind of a pussy, aren't you? I mean, if you won't stand up something you believe in…"

"Kid, I'll let you off with a warning this time. Wear my patients again, I'll send you to your daddy faster then you could…" he stops as I appear with my dagger at his throat.

"Care to finish that thought?" I ask as I apply pressure.

Chiron clears his throat.

"Shall we head inside? I think I see Percy now." he asks.

"Sure. But Dicky here get's me a drink, ASAP," I say. "Now!"

He scurries off.


	2. Instructions

**Instructions**

_**A/N:**__ This is a self insert into the Percy Jackson universe. This story will be an introduction into a long series of stories. Reviews are always appreciated. This will, eventually feature adult content, and will have an abundance of swearing. Don't like, don't read. Also, thanks and congrats to ELMO-fAN cLUB MeMbER for being the first reviewer._

After we had gone inside the main building all hell had broken loose. Questions were being thrown left and right. I had answered most of them. Like "Where are you from?" or "Why are you here?" or even "Why do carry a gun?". It's like they can't use logic.

After all formalities were out of the way, it was time for business. I was glad that the two in charge had figured out why I was here so quickly. It made this easier.

"So, what do you need us to do? Why couldn't you just bring your family here?" asked Percy.

"I could have, but three children of Hades traveling through what has become one of the most monster ridden areas around, without knowing for sure we'd be welcome, is probably a bad idea." I say.

"Besides, Perce, it's kinda obvious that he needs our help getting them here. But, man, where are they?" asked the Satyr.

"Westover Hall, a military school in Bar Harbor, Maine. It was paid for by Hades'. Somewhere I would have liked to have gone…"

"So why didn't you?" asked Percy.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe for the same reason I'm standing here right now, maybe? Idiot." I say.

"How long would it take to get there? How many would need to go with you?" asked Chiron.

"The fewer the better. I'm going to assume that the reason you wanted them," I nod towards Percy's group, "in here is to recommend them to come with me?" I ask.

"Yes. Percy is the best fighter in camp, Anabeth is a daughter of Athena. Grover should go for obvious reasons." Chiron explains.

"Right. Because I want to travel with an idiot, a smart-ass, and a goat. Great plan. No one will end up murdered, I promise!" I say sarcastically.

"No one had better. Or else Poseidon might turn you into a dolphin." Dionysus says.

"I wasn't in reference to them…" I trail off.

"Very well. Percy, Anabeth, get your stuff. You leave tomorrow. Umbra, you shall stay here in the Big House…" I cut him off as I bust out laughing.

"Ha ha ha… the Big House?! Do… do you keep inmates here? Are there guards I should be worried about?!" I said between fits of laughter.

"Okay, okay, you've had your fun. You'll stay here tonight. And dinner is in a few hours." he said.

"What? Burgers and applesauce? I'll just eat at McDonalds, thanks." I said.

"Actually it's steak night. But, if you insist…" he trailed off.

"On second thought, perhaps I will stay. But, I still have to get some brooskies from the market. I can't be around idiots like these," Percy goes to object but I cut him off, "without something to ignore the stupidity with. Anyone else want something? D? Wine? Snickers for the idiot? Can of beans for the goat? No?" I ramble.

"You shouldn't leave the premises. It could lure monsters here." Percy adds.

"Oh? And me coming here in the first place won't? Look, if it makes you feel better, I won't leave. But you better have some killer fuckin' whiskey." I say.

So, as it went, Percy gave me the grand tour with Anabeth. Her I could grow to like. She reminds me of myself, in a way. Perhaps less destructive, but she could learn.

Percy, on the other hand, will be a thorn in my side. He isn't stupid enough to be useful as canon-fodder, but too stupid to not annoy me. Goddamn nuisance. If I have to spend the entirety of the prophecy with him around, I might just kill myself.

There were differences in the cabins, but they were much of the same. The Apollo cabin glowed with a shine. It also had beautiful music coming out of it.

Ares' cabin had a boars severed head hanging off it with a variety of weapons out front. Now that was my kind of cabin.

When it started to get dark a bell rang. I had been playing this card game with Dionysus and Chiron. Chiron explained that the bell was a dinner bell. Explains it well enough.

The steak was perfection. I didn't understand why the sacrificed their food, even after Chiron explained it. It just seemed idiotic to me. Their choice, though. No skin off my back.

After dinner, they all went down to do smores or some shit. Idiots. I just went up to the room Chiron assigned me. The bed was comfortable enough. Not necessarily hard enough for me though. As, I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder what my role in the events that were soon to follow would be. It wasn't like anyone but Percy could be the one the prophecy was about. I just hoped that me and my family would come out alive…


	3. Independence

**Independence**

_**A/N:**__ This is a self insert into the Percy Jackson universe. This story will be an introduction into a long series of stories. Reviews are always appreciated. This will, eventually feature adult content, and will have an abundance of swearing. Don't like, don't read._

We left the camp the next morning. I had to leave the Ferrari behind. Didn't have enough room. Not that I wanted these idiots in it. Fuck 'em.

So, the camps driver took us. Didn't catch his name. He was covered in eyes though. Creeped me the fuck out. Felt like I was being watched. I'm usually the one watching. Shit, not what I meant.

In any event, we were driven to the bus stop. I hate public transportation. Luckily, I spotted a truck that would fit us nearby.

I pointed it out to the others, but they didn't want to steal. Moralists. Fuckin' idiots.

"If you don't want something stolen, you shouldn't leave it where it can get stolen." I say.

"But stealing is illegal. And wrong." Percy says.

"So society would tell you. But tell me, isn't it only natural for humans to fight over things like property. I mean, we evolved from primates, and primates fight over food and mates all the time. It's the same thing." I point out.

"But we were created by…" Anabeth starts.

"Yeah, no. Disregard every scientific discovery we've made for over two centuries. I thought you were the smart one, blondey."

"Listen, we're not…" I ignore what Percy starts to say and walk towards the truck.

"Either you come with me or I'm leaving you here. With no money and no way back." I shout at them. They quickly hurry towards the truck.

I hotwire the truck and we're off. They ask where I learned to hotwire but I ignore them. They don't need to know anything about me.

"So… seriously, why carry a gun? Why not just use a sword like the rest of us?" Percy asks.

"Because both the Greeks and the Romans believed in using the most advanced technology out there at the time. If anything, they'd be ashamed to learn what you've become. Anyone with even a basic knowledge of history knows that Caesar himself used the most innovative weapon of his time: the Catapult. He used it because it could promise him victory." I said.

We drove in silence for a few hours, but we had to stop to get gas so I told them to go into the store and get some chips and sodas. They came out with enough stuff for a day or two. We continued on our journey. They occasionally broke the silence with some quick bowts of chatter, but it was mostly useless.

**_12 HOURS LATER_**

We showed up in time for a "school dance". I didn't see the point in it. I instructed the others to just blend in. Dance, party. Look like they belonged there. They did a pretty good job of it.

I left to find the headmaster. He was kind of dick-ish, but he was a good enough guy, I guessed. I eventually found him and asked him where Nico and Bianca were. He said he'd help me find them, then walked off, presumably to do so.

I went to the dance and looked around for them. It took me a good fifteen minutes, but I did find Percy. He was dancing with Annabeth. Would have made me sick if I wasn't busy.

"Found him doing that?" I asked sarcastically. Honestly, it was pathetic.

"Eh, no… but Grover thought he spotted them awhile ago. He said there was…" I saw them being pulled out the door by the Headmaster. It didn't look like they were happy.

"Hey asshole!" I shouted at him. "I'm right here!"

He turned and saw me and ran faster, pulling them right along. I dropped my trench-coat revealing my fully equipped combat jacket underneath. I unsheathed my hip-sword and drew my gun that kept on my chest, then ran after him. I could hear Percy with his sword and Annabeth following.

Once outside, he… well. His arms grew into huge paws and soon he transformed into a huge Manticore. I would have been stunned were it actually surprising at all.

"Oh. So… you're a giant pussy? Nice. More of a dog-person myself, you know?" I asked. I quickly shadow-traveled on top off him, shooting him in the back of the skull. The bullets just bounced off.

"You know, cats are _so_ high requirement. You have to feed them," I said jumping off of him and slashing at his face. "They're so clingy," I quickly jumped, doing a back-flip to avoid a paw that slashed at me. "And you have to…" I shadow-traveled behind him, "Clean their BOXES!" I shouted, shoving my sword up his ass and twisting.

It obviously pissed him off, because the next thing I knew I was flying into the wall after he slammed me with his tail.

"I hope you know that neither of us win now. Your ass hurts and my sword smells like cat-shit. Everybody loses." I said before a volley of poison dart thing flew at me. I thought it was the end before I was shoved down by some invisible force. Annabeth uncloaked with a hat in her hand. Clever-girl.

The victory was short-lived as the Manticore picked her up in his maw, Percy coming out sword ready. The boy had guts, at least. Too bad he just barely dodged a volley of poison darts and had to take cover inside.

Just as the Manticore was about to finish me, a silver arrow hit the damn thing in the eye. I couldn't help but smirk as a group of young girls came into view.

"_How ironic."_ I thought. The Manticore howled in pain, then jumped off the cliff, running into the night. _"Still a giant pussy."_

"No! We have to help her!" Percy shouted, running out of the building.

"She is beyond help now." The oldest girl came up and said.

"No! You have to let me help her!" he said, obviously not understanding she was gone. He attempted to get up, but a few of the girls held him down. "Who do you think you are?!" he demanded.

"Oh, dude, bad move." I stated.

The oldest girl moved forward, as though to smack him.

"No," an auburn-haired leader stated. "I sense no disrespect. He is merely distraught, and does not understand. I am Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt."


	4. Choices

**Choices**

_**A/N:**__ This is a self insert into the Percy Jackson universe. This story will be an introduction into a long series of stories. Reviews are always appreciated. This will, eventually feature adult content, and will have an abundance of swearing. Don't like, don't read._

The revelation came as little surprise to me, however I expected Percy to be quite shocked. The most that happened was a strange look came across his face.

"Um… okay." was all he had to say. Further enforced my opinion of him as an idiot.

Grover knelt and started yammering thanks and praise and worship. I just stood there, with my arms crossed, not all too impressed.

"I expected you to be… taller," I quickly joke, "I mean, do you always walk around like a pre-pubescent girl. Kind of creepy, you know?"

The Zoë girl, as she had introduced herself, looked about ready to kill me. Artemis just gave a small grin and a chuckle. I suppose I should view that as an accomplishment.

"Whoa," Bianca said. "Hold up. Time out."

Everybody else looked at her. She pointed her finger at all of them in turn, trying to piece it all together. "Who… who are you people? Who are they, Umbra?"

"Friends, Bianca. Don't worry," I told her, then turned to the others to whisper at them. "I had Father wipe their memory. The loss of Mother was too traumatic. It will also aid in the coming years."

Artemis expression seemed to soften. "It might be a better question, my dear girl, to ask who are _you_? Who are your parents?"

Bianca glanced at me, then Nico, who was still staring at Artemis in awe.

"Our parents are dead," Bianca said, telling her known truth. "We're orphans. There's a bank trust that pays our schooling, but…"

She faltered, noticing the un-believing faces of the others and my sympathetic one.

"What?" she demanded. "I'm telling the truth! Ask Umbra!"

Zoë was about to speak, but I cut her off.

"Bianca, we're children of the Olympian gods. We are known as Half-Bloods. Our father is Hades, God of the Dead. I had certain memories… erased. They were painful, I felt like I was doing the right thing. Perhaps I still do, but it is not important now." I said.

"Cool!" Nico exclaimed.

"No!" Bianca's voice quavered. "This is not cool!"

Nico started doing an embarrassing little dance, as though he had to piss. "Does Zeus really have lightning bolts that do six hundred damage? Does he get extra movement points for-"

"Nico, shut up!" Bianca put her hands to her face. "This is not your stupid mytho-magic game! There are no gods! Umbra, tell him! Tell him it is all just a joke!"

I just shook my head. "There is no joke. We were, and are, sons and daughters of the divine. Hades is our father. Percy's father," I said pointing to Percy, "is Poseidon. The young mistress there is Lady Artemis, on of the very divine gods. To say they are not real, is to say we are not real."

Percy must have felt some remorse for her. Must have remembered when he first found out. "Bianca, I know it's hard to believe. But the gods are real. Trust me. They're Immortal. And whenever they have kids with regular humans, kids like us, well… our lives are dangerous."

"Dangerous," Bianca said. "like the girl who fell."

Percy turned away. Even the Lady Artemis looked pained.

"Do not despair for Annabeth," the goddess said. "She was a brave maiden. If she can be found, I shall find her."

"Then why won't you let us look for her?" Percy asked.

"Dude, she's gone. Can't you feel it in your very bones?" I asked.

"He is correct, Young Son of Poseidon. Some magic is at work. I do not know exactly how or why, but your friend has vanished." the Lady Artemis said.

"Oo!" Nico raised his hand, and I couldn't help but feel ashamed to be related to him. "What about Dr. Thorn? That was awesome how you shot him with arrows! Is he dead?"

"He was a Manticore," Artemis said. "Hopefully, he is destroyed for now, but monsters never truly die. They re-form over and over again, and they must be hunted down whenever they appear."

"Or they'll hunt us," Percy added.

Bianca shivered. "That explains… Nico, you remember those guys who tried to attack us in the alley in D.C.?"

"And the bus driver," Nico added. "The one with the ram's horns. I _told_ you that was real."

"Indeed. The lawyer I 'hired' was also a monster, one that is on our side, though…" I said, while checking over my bruises. Nothing too bad, I've had worse.

"Bianca, we came here to help you." Percy said. "You and Nico Need training to survive. Dr. Thorn won't be the last monster you meet. You need to come to camp."

"Camp?" she asked.

"Camp Half-Blood," Percy states. "It's where Half-Bloods go to learn to survive and stuff. You can join us, stay there year-round if you like."

"He's right Bianca. It's the whole reason I reached out to them. It was simple. I put you here so that you were safe while I made preparations and learned as much as I could. You see, now that my tasks are complete, I am positive that you will be in safe hands. Well… mostly. You will be trained, and safe. It was the best option." I said, neglecting to mention that I, at Father's request, locked them in the Lotus Casino for seventy years.

"Sweet, let's go!" Nico exclaimed.

"Wait." Bianca shook her head. "I don't-"

"There is another option." Zoë said.

I waited for Zoë to explain, and she waited, as though waiting for someone to argue.

"We've burdened these children enough," Artemis announced. "Zoë, we will rest here for the night. Raise the tents, treat the wounded. Retrieve our guests belongings from the school."

"Yes, my Lady."

"And, Bianca, come with me. I would like to speak with you."

"What about me?" Nico asked.

"Nico, why don't you tell Grover about your little card game? He would enjoy it, I'm sure." I say, as to avoid issues.

"How did this become _my_ job? He's your brother!" Grover interjected.

"How about as a personal favor to me?" Artemis asked.

Grover nearly tripped walking towards Nico. "You bet! Come on, Nico!"

Nico and Grover walked off into the woods, talking about Mytho-Magic. Nico had promising nerdy-ness in him. Artemis led a very confused Bianca along the cliff. I had a feeling that I knew exactly what she was going to ask her. The huntresses began unpacking their things.

I left with Zoë, deciding I could help best in getting things over-seen. I could hear Percy walked off behind me, likely to watch the view.

"Thou seems much more respectful of the Lady Artemis then one would expect." Zoë observed, showing a quizzical eye.

"One must know their place before they can know those of others. I learned early on when to show respect where it is due. If it was Hermes or Apollo, I'd probably be less respectful." I respond.

She merely walked on, perhaps in thought with herself. She would occasionally stop to give an order about the setup, and I gave my opinion on spots to keep out the cold and keep in the warmth. They were more effective then one might expect. They had the camp setup in a matter of minutes. Seven large tents, all made from fine silver silk, all curved in a crescent around one side of a bonfire. One of the Huntresses blew a silver dog whistle, and a dozen white wolves appeared out of the woods. They began guarding the camp like dogs. The Huntresses walked among them, unafraid, feeding them treats. I attempted to scratch one behind the ear and nearly lost a hand. Little piece of shit. Falcon acted as sentries from the trees, a sound stratagem. A marvelous creature for the role, as well. The goddess bended the weather to her will, keeping it cold, but windless. The snow also stopped falling. Pleasant, almost.

I saw Percy looking like he was filled with guilt. Perhaps he felt as though he could have done more. I felt like he did as much as he could in the situation given. The guilt he felt was nothing compared to the fury that the knowledge of me losing brought.

Grover and Nico eventually came back from their walk-and-talk and went over to Percy. I joined them, if nothing else to make sure no one throttled anyone.

Nico rummaged through his bag and pulled out his figurines, which the Huntresses had packed for him when they raided the building, under the shroud of shadows I had provided for them. Nico laid out a group of them in the snow. They were small replicas of the gods, each with their symbol of power attached.

"Big collection," Percy said.

Nico grinned. "I've got almost all of them, plus their holographic cards! Well, except the really rare ones. Stark Industries only makes a very small amount of the rare ones."

"You do not want to know how much those cost me." I whispered to Percy.

"You've been playing this game a long time?" Percy asked Nico.

"Just this year. Before that…" Nico knit his eyebrows.

"What?" Percy asked.

"I forget. That's weird."

"It's part of the memory wipe." I whispered to Percy.

Nico gave off an unsettled look, but it didn't last long. "Hey, can I see that sword you were using?"

Percy took out Riptide, then explained how it turned from a sword to a pen.

"Cool! Does it ever run out of ink?" Nico asked.

"Well, I don't actually write with it." Percy said.

"Are you really the son of Poseidon?"

"Well, yeah."

"Can you surf really well, then?"

I couldn't help but stifle a chuckle. How immature of me, but it was so very amusing to see Percy annoyed. Perhaps I could get Nico to do it more often…

"Jeez, Nico," Percy started. "I've never really tried."

I walked off while Nico bombarded Percy with moronic questions. It was quite amusing, but not important. I really must teach Nico when to hold his tongue.

Zoë eventually came and retrieved both Percy and I. She took us to the Lady Artemis, and, of course, Bianca.

"Join us Percy Jackson, Umbra di' Angelo," Artemis told us.

I sat to the goddesses left, while Percy seated himself in front of her, and Bianca stayed on her right. In all, we formed a neat circle. The engrained strategist in me saw this as bad positioning, an assassin could strike from any angle. The brother in me knew what the goddess wanted from us. Neither side was happy.

"Are you surprised at my age?" Artemis asked.

"Uh… a little."

"Not really." Percy and I said at the same time.

"I could appear as a grown woman, or a blazing fire, or anything else that I wanted, but this is what I prefer. This is the average age of all my Huntresses, and all young maidens before they go astray."

"Go astray?" asked Percy.

"Grow up. Become smitten with boys. Become silly, preoccupied, insecure. Forget themselves."

"Oh."

"So… go through puberty, is what you mean. They go through the natural part of life which no one can control? And you hold it against them? Despite that they have no control over it? Do you people even try and pay attention to science? At all? Whatever." I say.

Zoë glared at the both of us, like it was our fault that the randomized genetic code involuntarily thrust onto us made us of the male variety. Pathetic. Simply, pathetic.


End file.
